We are men. We make a lot of mistakes and our wives have come to expect that. Countless times I have been told where the pots go in the kitchen, and countless times my wife has found them under the sink, in the pantry, once in the refrigerator. But, alas, my wife forgives, as I’m sure your wife has as well.
So why didn’t someone tell me about the unforgivable sins that a man can commit against a pregnant woman? Had I known these in advance, I might have saved myself a lot of grief! But probably not. Who knows.
“The mind of a pregnant woman is unknowable” – Me
So consider this a public service to all the men who are living with a pregnant woman and can’t stop screwing up. These are the six unforgivable sins of the expectant father.
Number One: Telling her the amount of coffee a pregnant woman is allowed to drink.Doctors have told her. Friends have told her. Books have told her. But the common denominator in these three is that they waited until after she had her coffee before telling not to have coffee. If she needs that extra half cup, let her have it.
Number 2: Telling her she looks skinnyNone of her clothes are fitting. She hasn’t seen her feet in weeks. She can’t get out of bed without extra help. She’s got a living being inside of her that is making her entire body deformed. When you tell her she looks skinny you are insulting her intelligence. However, if you do tell her, make sure you avoid…
Number 3: Telling her she looks fatYou can’t make up for your stupidity. You already went down that road and changing your position now only makes things worse. She didn’t want to hear that she was skinny but she also didn’t want you to point out that she is a beached whale. And for the love of God, do not tell her she looks the same as she looked on her wedding day! I know, it sounds like a compliment! She won’t take it that way though!
Number 4: TalkingShe’s had a bad day. It’s written all over her face. Her feet are swollen, her back hurts, and she peed herself three times before lunch. All she wants is to sit in silence until her head stops hurting. Then you come in, with your great attitude and big smile, telling her about how great of a day you had and that you are so happy to see her! Shut up, you fool! And don’t turn on the tv! that’s just more noise!
Number 5: Not talkingDon’t just sit there in silence. That’s just making things worse! And stop smiling! You’re just reminding her that she’s in a bad mood!
Number six and the most important!: Drawing fat pictures of her and posting them on the internet. She’s behind me right now, isn’t she?
Well I hope this was helpful to all of you expecting fathers out there! Believe me, this is a tough time. We are expected to know stuff without them being spelled out in front of us. But consider this, your wife is pregnant. That might be kind of hard on her too…
I’m sure there will be more of these as the months go on. I mean, I’ve never stopped making mistakes before, why would I start now! So if you liked it and you would like to see more hit that like, share, and comment down below! Every little bit helps!
If you enjoyed this be sure to check out the 10 Commandments of Pregnancy and 4 Signs Your Unborn Child Is Trying to Sabotage Your Marriage!